Monday, February 5

Tits & Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have always agreed that a woman can use her assets to get somewhere - especially when dealing with men...and the greater the assets, the more she can get! Sweetpea im sure you would know - with your assets im sure u have Whiteboy running circles around you. And as much as this is a wonderful method of getting exactly what you want...it becomes less appealing when used against you!

Meet Tit - a newbie to the corporate world and still somewhat naive to this world of politics, sexual harrassment cases and men! I had been having a good run...had been there for a year, good job, good salary, awesome people...and being the newbie, loving the attention that came with it! But that all seemed to fade just as quickly as it arrived when I decided to do a friend a favour.

Enter Tits & Ass. Now Tits & Ass has been away and is currently looking for a job. She applies for 2 vacancies in my company in different departments and I think its a good idea for her to experience the place for a day.....so in she comes.......BIG MISTAKE.

I never actually thought men - okay SOME men - were that blatently and easily affected by the arrival of a hot woman. With tongues literally hanging out of their mouths, they proceeded to follow Tits & Ass around the office all day. Men I have actually never even seen or spoken to were hovering around like lovesick puppies. I actually felt quite special for about 5 minutes before, upon closer inspection, I noticed that I was actually just blending into the furniture. I could have stripped naked and they still would not have noticed me.

By the end of the day, Tits & Ass had been offered 7 different positions in my and other departments, paying triple what i earn doing something that I and my colleauges strive to get promoted to a few years down the line! WTF................ Apparently qualification and ability are no longer a requirement to get a job.....

Im telling you, its all about TITS and ASS!!!!!!!!!!! For all you unemployed white males out there, affirmative action is the least of your worries...Its the hot women you need to look out for. Although I would put money on it that given half the chance to chat one of these ladies up, you would gladly give up any position offered to you!

Granted this post is a complete generalization and there are men out there who can refrain from the intoxicating presence of a hot woman...or at least pretend to.......but the question remains:
What is it about boobs that is so paralysing to a man? To quote Julia Roberts, "They make milk, your mother has them...." so whats the big deal???

Yours in PMS/CBS day blues
Tit!

6 comments:

Her Infinite Cuteness said...

Love it Tit!!! Welcome and a lovely debut my friend... So you are saying that women actually use their bodies to get what they want? guess you learn something new everyday... and tit my babe you are every bit the eye-candy of tits and ass, if not more!

Anonymous said...

Aaaah..
Thanks Cuteness!!!!! Sadly not in this situation though...maybe a boob job and liposuction will help??

Her Infinite Cuteness said...

Dont make me come all the way to your office and slap you around a bit!!!! You not called Tit for fun u know! :)

SaM-GiRL said...

Hahahahahhaa! Id also love to know what the fascination is with boobs!! I mean, they also have them, theirs just arent as evolved as ours! great piece! I had such a laugh and i actually had a picture of all the horny men schlepping behind tits and ass, drooling away!!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha.....Thanks Sam-girl!
Sadly your mental picture was my reality...and they weren't even drooling at me! Aaah well....such is life!

Phlippy said...

@ Tit - brilliant, and welcome to our world. I tend to agree, it is sad actually

@ Sam - LoL, I have no idea what our fascination is with boobs, perhaps its because they are soft and comforting?