Friend is a term that is thrown around too loosely, in my opinion. Most people have pals….. A friend is someone you can phone at 3 in morning in tears because you are having a fat day. This friend will then have no problem telling you to get a grip and to f**k off, its 3 in the morning, without offending you. A friend can tell you, in all honesty, which outfit looks nicer and in fact your bum does look fat in those pants. Now this all sounds a little harsh but one doesn’t always say these things in such a callous manner. “Why don’t you try you black skirt with that halter top” is basically saying you look nice but I have seen you look better in something else. A real friend will tell you all her beauty and weight-loss secrets because she wants you to look as hot as she does.
She is the girl who sits with you in the club bathroom for an hour while you chunda, look at your mascara smeared face, tell you that you are a beautiful girl but you look like a crack whore, and hand you her make up bag.
A friend will tell you when you are being unreasonable and irrational. She will tell you when you are blatantly wrong. BUT she will stand up for you no matter what, even when you are wrong. She can tell you are upset, just by looking at you or hearing that fake “I'm great” voice. A true friend tells you when you are being a sh*t and need to pull yourself towards yourself. She considers your feelings, no matter how silly they may seem. A true friend tells you like it is because you both know that no matter the situation, your friendship is stronger. A friend can laugh with you and cry with you, make you laugh about something that you have even been crying about. She wouldn’t say anything that she wouldn’t say to your face. She can tell you when you have hurt her and your actions are uncalled for, without being spiteful. She willing to go beyond the call of duty for you and has every right to be angry with you if you do not do the same.
If you are sick in hospital on New Years Eve she will come and ring in the new year with you, just because she knows you believe that however you spend new year is how you spend the rest of the year, and she doesn’t want you to think its gonna be sick and alone.
“A true friend knows everything about you, and still likes you”
Wednesday, January 31
Tuesday, January 30
Gorillas in the Pit
What is it about men at gyms? The last two weeks I have currently changed my usual morning work outs to the evenings, having major issues waking up at 4 in the morning. Anyway I have started going to gym in the evenings after work and it seems like this time of day attracts a whole new kind of male species all together. Not only does it take you 10 minutes just to find a parking, you have to queue to use any equipment but the men are pigs. Planet Fitness are currently building a women's only section and I now understand why. I used to have a huge aversion to working out in the gorilla pit upstairs but lately I have reached the point where I actually don't really care if I am working out next to some mammoth beast of a man pushing ridiculously heavy weights while I sit there using my 5 kilo weights. However, that being said last week the aversion came back! Since when is a sweaty girl doing leg presses good looking? Do men now go to gym in the hopes of picking up a random chick?
One evening last week I was doing my usual routine but I was wearing a shirt that had my nickname on the back. Big big BIG mistake!!! This just opens the door for conversation. The best of the lot, "so if you have your nickname on the back why don't you just spare us the trouble and put your phone number underneath it". OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!, the thoughts of smacking the stupid smirk off this gorillas face with my weights were luckily held back with forced restrain on my behalf. This made me realise how much I am going to love this ladies' only gym and that I seem to have developed a mild case of rage, which is new in my life!
Another incident last week, although highly embarrassing for me, made me realise that these guys know no boundaries to their hormonal desperation. There I was using the cable push down machine and I bent over to change the weight and the little metal bar came hurtling down and knocked me on the head. Now very embarrassed, I hoped that no one had seen this, but no no another 3 male behemoths (did I mention that they hunt in packs too?) are suddenly standing around me. One with hand on my head and the others asking if "I hurt my pretty little head". I mean please give me a break, I am sweating and have just bruised my little gymming ego badly and have a bump on my head, the last thing I want is to be chatted up right now. My response was short and sweet "I'm fine thank you" and put my ipod back on full blast.
The last week and a bit of evening gymming has therefore provided me the insight into the following:
1) Ipod is an essential essential item whilst gymming
2) No name displaying clothing
3) The Ladies' only section is not as ridiculous as it seems
4) Testosterone, steroid loaded behemoths have over taken my number 1 spot on my pet hate list (and they have over taken taxis!!!!)
5) Just get up early in the morning
Have a PMS/CBS free day now
Sweet Pea
One evening last week I was doing my usual routine but I was wearing a shirt that had my nickname on the back. Big big BIG mistake!!! This just opens the door for conversation. The best of the lot, "so if you have your nickname on the back why don't you just spare us the trouble and put your phone number underneath it". OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!, the thoughts of smacking the stupid smirk off this gorillas face with my weights were luckily held back with forced restrain on my behalf. This made me realise how much I am going to love this ladies' only gym and that I seem to have developed a mild case of rage, which is new in my life!
Another incident last week, although highly embarrassing for me, made me realise that these guys know no boundaries to their hormonal desperation. There I was using the cable push down machine and I bent over to change the weight and the little metal bar came hurtling down and knocked me on the head. Now very embarrassed, I hoped that no one had seen this, but no no another 3 male behemoths (did I mention that they hunt in packs too?) are suddenly standing around me. One with hand on my head and the others asking if "I hurt my pretty little head". I mean please give me a break, I am sweating and have just bruised my little gymming ego badly and have a bump on my head, the last thing I want is to be chatted up right now. My response was short and sweet "I'm fine thank you" and put my ipod back on full blast.
The last week and a bit of evening gymming has therefore provided me the insight into the following:
1) Ipod is an essential essential item whilst gymming
2) No name displaying clothing
3) The Ladies' only section is not as ridiculous as it seems
4) Testosterone, steroid loaded behemoths have over taken my number 1 spot on my pet hate list (and they have over taken taxis!!!!)
5) Just get up early in the morning
Have a PMS/CBS free day now
Sweet Pea
FNS
Well Sweet Pea discussed the ins and outs of CBS, I thought I would have a look the opposite end of the spectrum. This would be FNS or Florence Nightingale Syndrome. So what is it about sick men that make women immediately feel the need to nurse them?!?!?!
For example, myself. Now I am not the most patient of people nor take much interest in the pathetic and incapable.
Recently a mate of mine was in a motor-cross accident and I went by to see him as he had crushed his right leg. He now has a right leg that is mostly titanium. Anyway I went to see him and I took sweets, choccies and a couple of drinks. Upon my arrival I unpacked all these away for him, got him a fresh glass of water, with ice, and we sat and chatted. I then took him to work so he could get some things to do while sitting at home. Then off to woolies to do some grocery shopping. I carried his groceries AND work stuff up the stairs for him, packed it all away and washed his few dishes that were in the sink. I didn't fluff his pillow. The worst of it was that that day I had decided to wear a white dress!! I mean REALLY?!?! Who was this woman?! Opening car doors and putting crutches in the back seat, taking the stairs one at a time and slowly, smiling sweetly and looking at him with concern every time he looked remotely uncomfy...
Are woman innately nurturing? Because that is not something I would have said I was. Or do we like the idea of having the upper hand on men in terms of physical strength, even if it is temporary? All girls like to think of their dads as invincible and always battle when they appear not to be, so why is this not the same with all men?
One thing is for sure, I am no Lady with the Lamp. In fact, I feel like breaking something myself, just so he can repay the favour.
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
For example, myself. Now I am not the most patient of people nor take much interest in the pathetic and incapable.
Recently a mate of mine was in a motor-cross accident and I went by to see him as he had crushed his right leg. He now has a right leg that is mostly titanium. Anyway I went to see him and I took sweets, choccies and a couple of drinks. Upon my arrival I unpacked all these away for him, got him a fresh glass of water, with ice, and we sat and chatted. I then took him to work so he could get some things to do while sitting at home. Then off to woolies to do some grocery shopping. I carried his groceries AND work stuff up the stairs for him, packed it all away and washed his few dishes that were in the sink. I didn't fluff his pillow. The worst of it was that that day I had decided to wear a white dress!! I mean REALLY?!?! Who was this woman?! Opening car doors and putting crutches in the back seat, taking the stairs one at a time and slowly, smiling sweetly and looking at him with concern every time he looked remotely uncomfy...
Are woman innately nurturing? Because that is not something I would have said I was. Or do we like the idea of having the upper hand on men in terms of physical strength, even if it is temporary? All girls like to think of their dads as invincible and always battle when they appear not to be, so why is this not the same with all men?
One thing is for sure, I am no Lady with the Lamp. In fact, I feel like breaking something myself, just so he can repay the favour.
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
Monday, January 29
CBS
So Her Infinite Cuteness and I were having a vent the other day and in a joking way I said to her that we should start a blog together where we could vent all our frustrations in the hopes of dealing with issues, admin and heart break. So to my shock and horror the next day I was informed that it was set up. And well here I am writing my first post, eeeek!!!!! Me a writer? I think not but hey what the hell may as well see what its all about and give it a go.
As one of the co-founders of PMS and CBS I feel the need to elaborate on the phenomenon that is CBS, otherwise known as Crazy Bitch Syndrome. CBS tends to generally go hand in hand with PMS but unfortunately PMS is an accepted excuse for moody behavior, CBS on the other hand is a whole other form of ugly! Unfortunately I had a case of CBS two Fridays ago at the Maneater. The thing with CBS is that it is usually a direct result of increased, well in my case overboard, alcohol consumption. Too much to drink + 1 bad week + 1 comment taken in the wrong way = EXPLOSION and the poor soul that endured this case of CBS = boyfriend.
What is it with girls and admin when they are drunk? I swore that I was not one of those girls but unfortunately that night CBS reared its ugly head and I joined the ranks of probably 90% of all females. Irrational, volatile and repetitive, what a great combination to have on a night out. And to make matters worse I was there to spend the evening catching up with 2 of my mates that I hadn't seen in over a year! But no, instead I need to go on and on about an issue that was really quite non existent and well, not an issue.
I woke up the next morning with a very well deserved headache, one rightly annoyed boyfriend and a massive loser's complex. Two weeks later I still have the LC and my head is still hanging in shame. Have informed Her Infinite Cuteness if she ever sees me in one of these moods to remove me from the venue and all people as soon as possible.
To all those men out there that have ever bore the brunt of this shocking trait that us females seem to possess I sincerely apologise on behalf of all hormonal, drunk, PMSing, CBS females. Unfortunately it seems to be in our genetic make up so just head for the hills and wait for the hang over to set in in the morning!
Well folks thats all from me for now!
Here's to a PMS/CBS free day
Sweet Pea
And for anyone having a particularly blue Monday have a listen to this clip:
http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php
As one of the co-founders of PMS and CBS I feel the need to elaborate on the phenomenon that is CBS, otherwise known as Crazy Bitch Syndrome. CBS tends to generally go hand in hand with PMS but unfortunately PMS is an accepted excuse for moody behavior, CBS on the other hand is a whole other form of ugly! Unfortunately I had a case of CBS two Fridays ago at the Maneater. The thing with CBS is that it is usually a direct result of increased, well in my case overboard, alcohol consumption. Too much to drink + 1 bad week + 1 comment taken in the wrong way = EXPLOSION and the poor soul that endured this case of CBS = boyfriend.
What is it with girls and admin when they are drunk? I swore that I was not one of those girls but unfortunately that night CBS reared its ugly head and I joined the ranks of probably 90% of all females. Irrational, volatile and repetitive, what a great combination to have on a night out. And to make matters worse I was there to spend the evening catching up with 2 of my mates that I hadn't seen in over a year! But no, instead I need to go on and on about an issue that was really quite non existent and well, not an issue.
I woke up the next morning with a very well deserved headache, one rightly annoyed boyfriend and a massive loser's complex. Two weeks later I still have the LC and my head is still hanging in shame. Have informed Her Infinite Cuteness if she ever sees me in one of these moods to remove me from the venue and all people as soon as possible.
To all those men out there that have ever bore the brunt of this shocking trait that us females seem to possess I sincerely apologise on behalf of all hormonal, drunk, PMSing, CBS females. Unfortunately it seems to be in our genetic make up so just head for the hills and wait for the hang over to set in in the morning!
Well folks thats all from me for now!
Here's to a PMS/CBS free day
Sweet Pea
And for anyone having a particularly blue Monday have a listen to this clip:
http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php
Thought for the day
One would think that people would be nicer to the people who dispense their medicine. (just think George in desperate housewives)
Sunday, January 28
Caution: All common sense gone
Just saw the most hysterical thing! An advert for some car. The family is viewing fish under the sea. As you see the huge 4x4 driving out the sea, a little warning pops up at the bottom "Do not attempt to drive your car under water" LOL.... Clearly all common sense has vanished! Now I just have to remember that my coffee is hot so not to burn myself while my dog dries in the microwave. Thank goodness for warnings I might do something stupid one day...
Tacky, Tacky, Tacky
So Sweet Pea seen as you missed last weekend, thought I would fill you in on the interesting details. Now I know you have heard various things but I would just like to state that the tackiness of the evening was not our responsibility (for once) and the Youngens that were present were completely to blame...
Durban came up for the weekend to get away from a va-jay-jay. (hmmm that's quite ironic, but that could just be my brain). So usual routine of setting off for the Vaal Dam occurred, pick everyone up, head off to the bottle store, and then the little list of groceries requested by Tit (She is named Tit because her breasteses are among the best in the group.) However Token and I weren't feeling very fond of the other 3 people in T2P so we left them behind at the petrol station for about half an hour, while we got our things together. We picked up the 3 unfavourables and they sorted out their booze. It seemed forgiveness came in the form of about 3 or 4 alcoholic beverages for Token and I. We eventually got on the way, drinking and singing. The booze was going down well, and Token, who I let like an idiot, was driving T2P, was the fastest drinker of all of us... We stopped at a little dive of a pub on the way, just after Meyerton, for a quick tequila.
Finally we arrived and we jumped out the car with a box full of empty bottles and all a little rowdy. The youngens were all very quick to say that baby-tit had warned them about us, and then vanished as quickly as they could. I think we made them a little nervous, cant imagine why!?
Later, after dinner and an afternoon of boozing, a brave youngen looked at us and said that with all the warnings, they were actually disappointed! Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a challenge to me! Doc and Durban were sent off to make some punch, while we explained to the youngens how to play Kings... The punch arrived and the game began. It seemed as the game progressed, the youngens fell prey to the evil punch. The punch was REVOLTING! (coastal people I tell you) but we did drink it like it was our mother's milk. Eventually, 6 of the 9 youngens had dropped like flies and only 3 remained..... Now, the queen was the Master of Anatomy card. This means that whoever draws the card has to do summin and everyone has to copy them. Last to do so had to drink. Now everyone avoiding the tall glass of punch to down, rushed to do whatever was required. The first one was drawn by a youngen who stripped off his shirt and sat there topless. And so we all followed, unfortunately, just taking a top off was not sufficient, so bras went off too.... Next card, drawn by same youngen, and everyone was naked! So us girls having a couple of things to handle didn't really have any hands. A problem that was solved by a boy on either side of the girls holding one breastes each. Now I was sitting between Token and baby-tit's boyfriend. Token held Mary-Kate and baby-tit's boy held Ashley. Something that was documented and shown to baby-tit and the rest of the youngens.
The next morning as we made our way downstairs, we received extremely disapproving looks from the youngen girls and we all sat in a little huddle around the pool, our own little circle of shame. The punishment was pretty fitting, however, as we all got terribly sun burnt and suffered from sun stroke on Monday... Ah good times.
Remain infinitely cute
xxx
Durban came up for the weekend to get away from a va-jay-jay. (hmmm that's quite ironic, but that could just be my brain). So usual routine of setting off for the Vaal Dam occurred, pick everyone up, head off to the bottle store, and then the little list of groceries requested by Tit (She is named Tit because her breasteses are among the best in the group.) However Token and I weren't feeling very fond of the other 3 people in T2P so we left them behind at the petrol station for about half an hour, while we got our things together. We picked up the 3 unfavourables and they sorted out their booze. It seemed forgiveness came in the form of about 3 or 4 alcoholic beverages for Token and I. We eventually got on the way, drinking and singing. The booze was going down well, and Token, who I let like an idiot, was driving T2P, was the fastest drinker of all of us... We stopped at a little dive of a pub on the way, just after Meyerton, for a quick tequila.
Finally we arrived and we jumped out the car with a box full of empty bottles and all a little rowdy. The youngens were all very quick to say that baby-tit had warned them about us, and then vanished as quickly as they could. I think we made them a little nervous, cant imagine why!?
Later, after dinner and an afternoon of boozing, a brave youngen looked at us and said that with all the warnings, they were actually disappointed! Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a challenge to me! Doc and Durban were sent off to make some punch, while we explained to the youngens how to play Kings... The punch arrived and the game began. It seemed as the game progressed, the youngens fell prey to the evil punch. The punch was REVOLTING! (coastal people I tell you) but we did drink it like it was our mother's milk. Eventually, 6 of the 9 youngens had dropped like flies and only 3 remained..... Now, the queen was the Master of Anatomy card. This means that whoever draws the card has to do summin and everyone has to copy them. Last to do so had to drink. Now everyone avoiding the tall glass of punch to down, rushed to do whatever was required. The first one was drawn by a youngen who stripped off his shirt and sat there topless. And so we all followed, unfortunately, just taking a top off was not sufficient, so bras went off too.... Next card, drawn by same youngen, and everyone was naked! So us girls having a couple of things to handle didn't really have any hands. A problem that was solved by a boy on either side of the girls holding one breastes each. Now I was sitting between Token and baby-tit's boyfriend. Token held Mary-Kate and baby-tit's boy held Ashley. Something that was documented and shown to baby-tit and the rest of the youngens.
The next morning as we made our way downstairs, we received extremely disapproving looks from the youngen girls and we all sat in a little huddle around the pool, our own little circle of shame. The punishment was pretty fitting, however, as we all got terribly sun burnt and suffered from sun stroke on Monday... Ah good times.
Remain infinitely cute
xxx
An actual ad in the London Times
WANTED
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
Friday, January 26
Cuteness PI
Ok so last night the pair of runts had some awards ceremony and Im still a little skittish being in house alone after being home alone during the last robbery so I headed off to my sissy... Now my sister and I own a pharmacy, not the best business at present due to a health minister who is unable to read. Anyway we are having some serious money issues, not due to our friend Mantu, someone is robbing us blind. So we head off to pharmacy to do a little digging. Not quite the digging I had in mind it turned out! We searched the shop from top to bottom, all the little nooks and crannies, thinking like a thief would. (and let me just add, i would kick ass as a thief) We found a few slight incriminating things, enough to confirm suspicions... Then my sissy remembered some funny happenings with the rubbish and, while still in thief mode, we pieced together a clever way to get the stock out of the shop using the rubbish bags. We know this methods works as the previous thieves had used a similar method....
Now I was wearing a particularly cute outfit. Quite a retro black and white striped skirt. Its knee length and slightly flaired. Sounds arb but i love it... A white top with a little bling and glitter on and very high white stilettos. And now with our recent theory we headed down to the rubbish heap!!!! And a digging we began... Needless to say it was REVOLTING. In the centre there is a flower shop a couple of restaurants, one of them being a sushi restaurant, so please a moment of silence to ponder the grossness of this......
My sissy's best friend arrived and was hysterical at me. It is true, that I open myself up for abuse, I walk into it like Bambi in the headlights. Perhaps I should change my name to Bimbo....
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
Now I was wearing a particularly cute outfit. Quite a retro black and white striped skirt. Its knee length and slightly flaired. Sounds arb but i love it... A white top with a little bling and glitter on and very high white stilettos. And now with our recent theory we headed down to the rubbish heap!!!! And a digging we began... Needless to say it was REVOLTING. In the centre there is a flower shop a couple of restaurants, one of them being a sushi restaurant, so please a moment of silence to ponder the grossness of this......
My sissy's best friend arrived and was hysterical at me. It is true, that I open myself up for abuse, I walk into it like Bambi in the headlights. Perhaps I should change my name to Bimbo....
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
How Embarrassing...
So Wednesday the View kids headed off to Frankie’s Banana for a sneaky drinky-poo. Doc threw some riddles at us, some pretty decent, most of them annoying. We chatted about up-coming events and various happenings in our lives. Nothing too earth-shattering. The odd man trouble, work troubles and more freaken riddles!! Seen as it was a school night we had only a couple of drinks. When it was home time it took me a bit longer to get my sh*t together so the others were waiting outside to say cheers. As I walked towards the door the two 14-year-old barmen (ok gross exaggeration, they might have been 15) bid me farewell. I did my best “oh dear not more male attention, does it ever stop?!” turn and said cheers. On the rotation back my oh so “Im used to this, please hold the paparazzi back” turn was rudely interrupted by a tile sticking out ever ever ever ever so slightly and I lunged forward (no not that type of lunge). Now I didn’t land flat on my face, thank god, but the damage was done! HOW EMBARRASSING! I had a little giggle and walked out radiating nuclear heat from my face. Any colour you can think of???
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
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