Top 10 places to meet women.

A mate of mine, we will call him Flintstones Pet (or FP) wrote an interesting and rather good article on this subject a while back. (http://www.wibble.co.za/blog/top-10-places-meet-women) Of course, knowing me, I have an answer for everything and well while some of his ideas are not too bad I thought I would add a female answer.

• At a Wedding. Yes women are emotional and tend to be loved up. But there can be a range of emotions flying here. That bitch knew I wanted to use this as my first song and that was my idea!!! That’s what I wanted my dress to look like! She said I would be a bridesmaid! Yes women discuss their weddings at length and so they will be looking for any idea stealing. There also may be some, I cant believe she is marrying THAT man and look who she invited?! Or Oh MY GOD can you see who Cindy brought or how fat Natasha is? And once we are then above all the tacky school-girl behaviour and enter the loved-up stage and get swept up in the moment, I hate to say it boys, but Vince and brother Wilson destroyed any illusion women have about men at weddings I’m afraid.

• On a Flight. Yes 12 long hours seems far more appealing when you not sitting next to the big fat guy who spills into your seat, spitting his complimentary nuts at you while he talks about his failed marriage and his battle with body odour. But in reality people have more chance of getting killed by a falling coconut in Norway than sitting next to a good-looking single male on a flight. They are either going on a trip with a girlfriend, to see a girlfriend or are in business class. And another fantasy ruined by a movie, we have all seen Bridget Jones Diary. And there is very little glamorous about flying, your head rolling everywhere while you battle to sleep, pudding spilled all over your top. There is only one way to travel, in business class, asleep, after a very strong sleeping tablet.

• In the Shopping Isles. Yes women love it when they are shopping for food, a few binge items and a man comes up to them to chat or ask for “advice” and their ‘womanly items’ are sitting on top of the cart. In fact, I think the men would like it less! I think men will learn to read labels very quickly.

• At the races. This is not a bad place in all fairness but unless you look like Ryk Neethling, have the charm of 4000 men or are willing to wait for the 4-in-the-morning-I-havent-found-a-man-desparation, it’s very unlikely.

• At a wine tasting club. Also not bad. All I have to say is Red wine teeth and lips.

• At the airport. Interesting place. An interesting place to just piss off a woman with a lot of luggage to hit you with.

• At a club. Yes, please please can the guy with sambucca all down his top, who smells of sweat and cannot talk a language known to man come and grope at me! And generally, being older than 12, we only get there after 11ish so being called a swamp lady is a sure way into my pants! (refer to circling vultures)

• At Gym. Some women go to gym to actually EXERCISE. Another place to piss off women where they have lots of weights to throw at you. Look for the women wearing lots of makeup, g-string leotards and blow-dried hair. They are usually too nipped and tucked, but hey, if you like that type of thing….

• At volunteer activities. Funnily women are there to actually volunteer. They will not notice you unless you are Brad Pitt. Also sooooo obvious. Some women are that stupid, but they will be in the gym in a g-string leotard.

• Aerobics class. Alright, either gay gay gay gay gay or tooooo obvious. So obvious you might as well take a women’s studies class at university.
  
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