Rabbits and Faux Pas

Ever had one of those moments when you open your mouth and your brains fly out? Well at this point in my life I'm surprised I have any brains left. Perhaps this is why I have been behaving like such a blonde the last little while. Anyway there was one particular occasion last year, when I out-did myself.

View United were at our local watering hole causing huge amounts of chaos as we do there. I do believe people leave when we arrive. We are a bunch of hazards I’m afraid, by the middle of the evening we monopolies the entire place and no one remains undisturbed and I am everyone’s friend.

So on this particular evening I was chatting to a few of the waitresses as we know each other pretty well, due mostly to my regular bad behaviour and excessive drinking. One of the waitresses had her boyfriend firmly attached to her side. He would come round every night she worked to keep an eye out. Gotta love male individuals such as these. So of course I was in friend-making zone and I introduced myself ever so friendlily, piling on the charm. He looked at me extended his hand and looked at me as though I was about to kill his puppy, and said simply “Warren”. Enter uncomfortable silence, crickets and tumbleweeds blowing in the wind. So Cuteness decides to break the ice, with her incredible sense of humour and joke telling skills.

Cuteness: I have a joke! (huge excitement on my face)

Warren: yes?
(the waitresses are so excited themselves because they know how utterly fabulous i am :) haha)

Cuteness: What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his ass?

Warren: ??

Cuteness: Warren (burst into laughter and am so thrilled with joke... the waitresses also laugh, INCLUDING the girlfriend.)

Warren: (deadpan)
(more crickets and tumbleweeds, sooooo loud. Even the tumbleweeds had crickets)

Well needless to say he was less than impressed. I can’t imagine why though! I offered to buy him a drink, no he doesn’t drink (stop Cuteness DO NOT say while on duty as girlfriend’s bodyguard and keeper. OR dehydration kills) I offer him non-alcoholic beverages. Nope. This guy was not going to let me give him any form of peace offering.

And what I learnt from all of this? People cannot smile when they have a rabbit up their arse.

Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX