Some Stereotypes.
Americans.
Ignorant, Arrogant, stupid and fat. Living in constant fear, in a double-wide, of further terror attacks.
The only foreign country they are aware of, that shockingly doesn't speak American, is Iraq.
Aussies.
Arrogant, surrounded by flies and partial to sheep. Extremely judgemental, especially of racism, while hugely secretive
of their activities to snuff out the few remaining Aborigines that escaped the first time around. Oh and they like to walk
around at night simply because it is safe to do so. Very good at sport unfortunately
British.
Bad teethed, weedy race who spend most of their lives down at the pub, living in fear of their children or farting God Save the Queen.
Arabs (Dubai).
Everything has a price, EVERYTHING.
South Africans.
Suffers from "the grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. Longs to walk around at night in Australia. Will always complain about crime, corruption and Zuma but happily bribe a cop. 'Faultless', 'blameless' and always has a 'valid reason' for doing exactly as they wish to others. So very hard done by.
Remain Infinitely Cute
Xxx
Saturday, September 13
Thursday, February 14
Show us what you made of…
Recently while reading a discussion on the incorrect spelling of the word metal I was reminded of a conversation I had with my brother roughly 2 weeks ago.
My brother has a rather interesting and busy love life. He has no problem with women and in all honesty women don’t generally stand a chance when faced with the eternally charming Beers. I asked him how long the current one would last and although he didn’t answer all indicators showed she had at that point had passed her Best Before date and was to be removed from his shelf. She didn’t have the METTLE. Mettle is what a person is made of, what they need to survive life but mostly other people. Considerable amounts of mettle is required to survive the Cutenesses, if you don’t have enough of it or take too long to show it you will be found wanting. Allow me to explain.
Firstly we are not a bunch of miserable horrid people who massacre bunnies at family lunches. We are kind, caring and extremely generous souls who are highly dependable and fiercely loyal. BUT….
We, particularly my brother and I, are incredibly complex individuals. We are all incredibly demanding and have high expectations of people. This often finds us disappointed by people and so our opinion of the general population is less than complimentary. I am in fact a firm believer that natural selection needs a little help and certain people need to be put down. (I am aware that I would more than likely be one of these, however this does not sway my opinion, there are people that this world could just do without. For this greater good, I would put the needle in my arm myself).
We do not suffer fools and are totally intolerant of stupidity. In fact I get so infuriated by it I’m getting irritated just typing the word. My family is incredibly intelligent, with my brother and sister both being described as gifted. They are all incredibly successful, over-achievers and so mediocrity is not something they know, understand or particularly accept.
We are, myself in particular, very hard people. I wasn’t always but the last few years have made me someone who I believe isn’t all that nice, very angry and very cynical. We cannot stand people who are pathetic. “Woe is me” crap, “why me” shit. IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT. To quote an Aussie show which I believe puts it perfectly “Harden the fuck up.” My mother and I cannot stand, in particular, weak women. We call them fall-about-women. This conjures a picture of a pathetic weeping woman flailing around with her hand to her forehead waiting to be rescued.
We are informed people, make sure you know what you are talking about before you start talking otherwise you wont walk properly for a month, you will be ripped apart. And please develop opinions of your own. Simply repeating what your boyfriend, parent or friend has said because it sounded intelligent falls in the category of stupidity (see above for feelings on that).
We have no time for liars or morons. We are blunt and as honest as they come. If we do not like you, you generally know, if not you are blind, deaf, dumb and in a grave.
We have fierce tempers so you don’t want to piss us off. My siblings and I are incredibly unforgiving and do not forget easily. You don’t really want to cross us and find yourself on our bad side. (We might death-stare you to death lol). The 3 of us (offspring) have a very dark and slightly inappropriate sense of humour, it is however dry and intelligent. None of this Borat crap. (Dear god if another moron does his Borat impression, firstly get your own material and secondly you sound like an idiot, unless your goal is to turn me off then well-done!).
My friends are made of good mettle, I think in fact, they make my mettle considerably better. And actually thinking about it, Token, who has had it the hardest out of all of them from my family (particularly Beers), has showed his mettle to my family like no other really has.
I find my family chaotic and hugely exhausting. One could feel like they had stepped into an episode of the Osbornes with the swearing etc. You can’t take offense to things too easily, or you will be told to get over it. A tough person needs to come into this, especially if it’s my boyfriend, because good luck with Beers darlings. You have to be made of strong mettle to survive the cutenesses, and I have only mentioned the stuff I'm happy to talk about. I must say in the last few years I haven’t met anyone who even comes close to being made of the right stuff. Tragic really.
Remain Infinitely Cute
Xxx
My brother has a rather interesting and busy love life. He has no problem with women and in all honesty women don’t generally stand a chance when faced with the eternally charming Beers. I asked him how long the current one would last and although he didn’t answer all indicators showed she had at that point had passed her Best Before date and was to be removed from his shelf. She didn’t have the METTLE. Mettle is what a person is made of, what they need to survive life but mostly other people. Considerable amounts of mettle is required to survive the Cutenesses, if you don’t have enough of it or take too long to show it you will be found wanting. Allow me to explain.
Firstly we are not a bunch of miserable horrid people who massacre bunnies at family lunches. We are kind, caring and extremely generous souls who are highly dependable and fiercely loyal. BUT….
We, particularly my brother and I, are incredibly complex individuals. We are all incredibly demanding and have high expectations of people. This often finds us disappointed by people and so our opinion of the general population is less than complimentary. I am in fact a firm believer that natural selection needs a little help and certain people need to be put down. (I am aware that I would more than likely be one of these, however this does not sway my opinion, there are people that this world could just do without. For this greater good, I would put the needle in my arm myself).
We do not suffer fools and are totally intolerant of stupidity. In fact I get so infuriated by it I’m getting irritated just typing the word. My family is incredibly intelligent, with my brother and sister both being described as gifted. They are all incredibly successful, over-achievers and so mediocrity is not something they know, understand or particularly accept.
We are, myself in particular, very hard people. I wasn’t always but the last few years have made me someone who I believe isn’t all that nice, very angry and very cynical. We cannot stand people who are pathetic. “Woe is me” crap, “why me” shit. IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT. To quote an Aussie show which I believe puts it perfectly “Harden the fuck up.” My mother and I cannot stand, in particular, weak women. We call them fall-about-women. This conjures a picture of a pathetic weeping woman flailing around with her hand to her forehead waiting to be rescued.
We are informed people, make sure you know what you are talking about before you start talking otherwise you wont walk properly for a month, you will be ripped apart. And please develop opinions of your own. Simply repeating what your boyfriend, parent or friend has said because it sounded intelligent falls in the category of stupidity (see above for feelings on that).
We have no time for liars or morons. We are blunt and as honest as they come. If we do not like you, you generally know, if not you are blind, deaf, dumb and in a grave.
We have fierce tempers so you don’t want to piss us off. My siblings and I are incredibly unforgiving and do not forget easily. You don’t really want to cross us and find yourself on our bad side. (We might death-stare you to death lol). The 3 of us (offspring) have a very dark and slightly inappropriate sense of humour, it is however dry and intelligent. None of this Borat crap. (Dear god if another moron does his Borat impression, firstly get your own material and secondly you sound like an idiot, unless your goal is to turn me off then well-done!).
My friends are made of good mettle, I think in fact, they make my mettle considerably better. And actually thinking about it, Token, who has had it the hardest out of all of them from my family (particularly Beers), has showed his mettle to my family like no other really has.
I find my family chaotic and hugely exhausting. One could feel like they had stepped into an episode of the Osbornes with the swearing etc. You can’t take offense to things too easily, or you will be told to get over it. A tough person needs to come into this, especially if it’s my boyfriend, because good luck with Beers darlings. You have to be made of strong mettle to survive the cutenesses, and I have only mentioned the stuff I'm happy to talk about. I must say in the last few years I haven’t met anyone who even comes close to being made of the right stuff. Tragic really.
Remain Infinitely Cute
Xxx
Sunday, February 10
Major Team changes as 2008 Season kicks off.
View United is experiencing a great loss at the beginning of this leap year. Their MVP and MPP has officially been benched! Delicious has been taken off the field by a new comer, Bloemies. The team is a little out of sync with the loss of this valuable and popular player but they are slowly finding their feet as Delicious is participating in many friendly matches and showing the other players her unbelievable skill and vast bevy of secrets.
Sweet-pea remains a superb coach, participating in the odd friendly, demonstrating to all why she is one of the best coaches in the business. She has however relinquished some of her coaching responsibilities as she now deals only with attack strategies. View United has acquired and would like to officially welcome their new assistant coach, Whitey. He has been on the scene for a while now, however to break into the ranks of View United is a difficult, long and sometimes impossible venture. Whitey is a superb coach and all members of View United adore him adequately. Remaining in paper-pushing positions along with sweet-pea and Whitey are Tit and Von-Dutch(man). Von-Dutch(man), like Whitey, has been on the scene for a while but has yet to be officially welcomed. (This due entirely to my tardiness. I will complete all welcomes at end.) Masters and Ranger (henceforth known as angel) also remain in head-office. These are the great people behind the players keeping things running smoothly, the players looking fantastic and feeling pretty/ semi – normal.
Unfortunately for head-office they lost a valuable paper-pusher. Durban has now joined the ranks of the competitive players. He started the season off on a bit of a slow note due to a stomach injury and lack of reputation in the region but we have much hope for this player. He is by far the most promising, skilled and naturally talented player (see what I did there) this team has seen for some time.
Token, an old favorite is in positively superb form and his game skills don’t seem to be too bad either. (Picking up what Im putting down?) Although recently at an away game a shoe-lace snapped left him stranded on a jetty watching the boat sail away, but after a quick emergency time-out he was right back in it!
As for me, I am still in the team. I have 2 superb defense players in Durban and Token and a great support system in the rest.
As for the official welcomes. Whitey, Von Dutch(man) and Angel (ranger, see above). Welcome boys, I know you have been around and supporting the rest of the team for some time now. You all enjoy the privileges, rights and protection afforded to all View United members.
Here’s to a great 2008 season.
Remain Infinitely Cute
Xxx
Sweet-pea remains a superb coach, participating in the odd friendly, demonstrating to all why she is one of the best coaches in the business. She has however relinquished some of her coaching responsibilities as she now deals only with attack strategies. View United has acquired and would like to officially welcome their new assistant coach, Whitey. He has been on the scene for a while now, however to break into the ranks of View United is a difficult, long and sometimes impossible venture. Whitey is a superb coach and all members of View United adore him adequately. Remaining in paper-pushing positions along with sweet-pea and Whitey are Tit and Von-Dutch(man). Von-Dutch(man), like Whitey, has been on the scene for a while but has yet to be officially welcomed. (This due entirely to my tardiness. I will complete all welcomes at end.) Masters and Ranger (henceforth known as angel) also remain in head-office. These are the great people behind the players keeping things running smoothly, the players looking fantastic and feeling pretty/ semi – normal.
Unfortunately for head-office they lost a valuable paper-pusher. Durban has now joined the ranks of the competitive players. He started the season off on a bit of a slow note due to a stomach injury and lack of reputation in the region but we have much hope for this player. He is by far the most promising, skilled and naturally talented player (see what I did there) this team has seen for some time.
Token, an old favorite is in positively superb form and his game skills don’t seem to be too bad either. (Picking up what Im putting down?) Although recently at an away game a shoe-lace snapped left him stranded on a jetty watching the boat sail away, but after a quick emergency time-out he was right back in it!
As for me, I am still in the team. I have 2 superb defense players in Durban and Token and a great support system in the rest.
As for the official welcomes. Whitey, Von Dutch(man) and Angel (ranger, see above). Welcome boys, I know you have been around and supporting the rest of the team for some time now. You all enjoy the privileges, rights and protection afforded to all View United members.
Here’s to a great 2008 season.
Remain Infinitely Cute
Xxx
Monday, January 14
Resolutions smootions
When it comes to New Year, I am a bit of a killjoy. I hardly see the point of celebrating the changing of the year, it has about as much meaning as a new month arriving. No one celebrates a happy new month do they? People spend weeks planning and worrying what they are going to do for their new year, will they be dateless on the night, dooming themselves to a year of complete singledom. If by the 10th of December their plans are not set there is huge panic and huge relief once their plans are set. People believe that the way they spend their new year is how they will spend their year. A lot of people have great New Year’s bashes and a really awful year. Others are in bed by 10, wake up in the New Year and life is just dandy.
The general belief is that the year will be better because there is a different number after 2 zeros? Surely if this were the case people would have gotten it right years ago. One never hears someone saying, “Gee I hope 2008 is just like 2007.”? Honestly what is a number going to change? I suppose people see the New Year is a fresh start, a new beginning, a type of tabula rasa. While that is all very romantic and optimistic, it is a very naïve and juvenile way to think. Firstly own personal demons do not expire at the end of the year, neither do your past actions. The truth is people do not forgive and do not forget. One could always move to another country, and re-invent yourself but those personal demons don’t really play the game. And so it is true that only babies have the true tabula rasa, the only clean slate. One’s slate will never be clean past those few precious years of knowing nothing, remembering nothing and not being aware of consequences.
As for resolutions, I am making one resolution this year. Not to make any resolutions. People put huge amounts of pressure on themselves by saying I’m going to do something for 365 days. My god, talk about climbing out the Grand Canyon people! That kind of attitude is doomed to fail. Nothing like setting yourself up to fail to get off on the wrong foot. Try climbing out the swimming pool first.
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
The general belief is that the year will be better because there is a different number after 2 zeros? Surely if this were the case people would have gotten it right years ago. One never hears someone saying, “Gee I hope 2008 is just like 2007.”? Honestly what is a number going to change? I suppose people see the New Year is a fresh start, a new beginning, a type of tabula rasa. While that is all very romantic and optimistic, it is a very naïve and juvenile way to think. Firstly own personal demons do not expire at the end of the year, neither do your past actions. The truth is people do not forgive and do not forget. One could always move to another country, and re-invent yourself but those personal demons don’t really play the game. And so it is true that only babies have the true tabula rasa, the only clean slate. One’s slate will never be clean past those few precious years of knowing nothing, remembering nothing and not being aware of consequences.
As for resolutions, I am making one resolution this year. Not to make any resolutions. People put huge amounts of pressure on themselves by saying I’m going to do something for 365 days. My god, talk about climbing out the Grand Canyon people! That kind of attitude is doomed to fail. Nothing like setting yourself up to fail to get off on the wrong foot. Try climbing out the swimming pool first.
Remain Infinitely Cute
XXX
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